It has been a week since I got the 3cm, 50% effaced news only to wait and wait and get my hopes up. No labor, No baby!
I told my mom tonight it is like when you have to go to the bathroom really bad in a store and you can hold it while you try that last outfit on or hold it while you pay, but then as you start to walk towards the bathroom the urge gets worse and worse and by the time you open the door to the bathroom you are literally running to the stall trying not to pee on yourself. That is exactly the way I feel with pregnancy. It's like I am okay, not in any huge rush, I am going with the flow until the minute that Doctor starts my weekly check ups and then suddenly I cant wait anymore. I am READY!!!! It is so crazy. Last Monday night I was calm, cool, and collected. I had no unrealistic expectations about this baby coming any earlier than November 3rd......until Tuesday morning when she said I was 3cm and 50% effaced and all that other stuff and suddenly I was like holy cow GET IT OUT!!! GET IT OUT NOW!!!
It was a rough week so it was probably good that she didn't come. I didn't give Parker all of his antibiotics because he started acting so much better and according to my husband that was totally the wrong thing to do. As Parker is sounding awful and I am feeling really bad my sister in law sends me an email saying that it is highly recommended that children under the age of 5 get a flu shot because some little girl died. I talked to my mother in law and she said she always gets her's. So now I am totally freaking out thinking I have given my baby the flu and now he could die and here I am about to be giving birth any day (yeah right, to the giving birth any day part) to another one. I cant leave him he is still just a baby himself. Cason is mad at me because he didn't know I had stopped giving the antibiotics. I am TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!!!
However, once I had a good cry I started Parker back on the antibiotics and he has started feeling better. I think he is going to live. :) And I realize that I totally over reacted.
It gets better.....
Friday night I am still not in labor and that is depressing but to make matters worse I go to the restroom and find that I am bleeding....WHAT? YIKES!!!!! I call the emergency hot line right away only to find out that I now have a BAD bladder infection. The baby is okay but this is really no good at this point in the game. She calls me in some medicine and tells me if it gets worse to go to hospital. That is comforting. But what she forgot to tell me is that the medicine turns your pee even more red. I thought I was dying Sunday morning. Not to mention I was exhausted, I felt like death. I called Cason all in a panic because i was bleeding more and I was so tired. Listen to what my husband said to me.....
He said you are probably alright but is the baby still moving? I was like ummmm what do you mean is the baby still moving. YES! He says well I think you are okay but if you stop feeling the baby move you need to go in. UMMMM NOOOOO!!!! If there is a chance that the baby is going to stop moving then I am going in NOW BEFORE she stops moving. What was he thinking. Come to find out all of my symptoms were from the medication that they put me on. I no longer am peeing blood and the baby is moving as much as ever. I seem to have more energy and everyone is fine.
So I go back tomorrow afternoon for another check up but even if they say I am 7cm dilated I refuse to get my hopes up..... well okay 7cm and I might get a little excited. :) Thanks for hearing me vent. Please everyone say a prayer for God to give me the strength to have patience. Since it is obviously not a strength of mine now. That or let her come tonight! :)
I will give another up date tomorrow night after my appointment.