No baby this weekend and that is okay.
I had been praying that I would go into labor and have Reese this past weekend but only if I could do it and she and I be healthy and safe. People kept laughing at me because when they asked me what I was doing Saturday I kept saying I was planning to be at the hospital having a baby. I got a few eye rolls and a lot of "God might say no to your prayer".
When I pray I feel like I am asking one of my parents for something. If I REALLY want it (no matter how stupid or small) I will ask multiple times...basically begging for whatever it may be. I have always prayed that way but it wasn't until I became a parent that I feel I learned Gods side of our parent/child relationship.
When Parker likes something or wants something I find myself wanting it too. Parker got into Barney about a year ago and we are now the proud owners of about 15 Barney videos, barney slippers, a Barney doll, Barney pj's, you name it we've got it. once upon a time I remember saying "my kids wont watch stupid Barney" (Be careful what you say you will or wont do, it could come back to bite you). In all fairness you cant help it, it makes you excited to see them get something they want or love. Cason and I have found our self anxiously awaiting Tuesday afternoons because on Tuesday afternoons the zoo is free and our little boy LOVES animals. Before Parker came along I never had any desire to go to the zoo. NEVER! Now I cant wait for the next Tuesday to come around just because I LOVE to see his little face get excited when he sees the animals. I love his little voice in the backseat on the way home telling me everything he saw as if I hadn't been there with him. The things our kids love we love, the things our kids want we want. However sometimes Parker wants something that could hurt him, Like playing out in the street. I know it looks like it would be so much fun to run around in the street but what he doesn't know is that if a car came around our corner they wouldn't see him and hit him. I am his mom I am smarter than he is. I don't tell him not to play in the street because I am power tripping but because I love him and I want to protect him. At 2 years old it looks like I am just not letting him do it because I don't want him to have fun. In all reality I would give him anything he wanted and let him do everything that he wanted to do if I could. Parents (most parents) always put their kids first. I think about what Parker wants to do before I think about what I want to do. I think about what Parker will eat before I think about what I am going to eat. When Parker is sick I lay beside him most of the night wishing God could let me take it for him. When you love something as much as your kids you are never saying No to them because you just don't want them to have it or to be mean. You only say no if it is in their best interest.
God is my Dad he has the power to give me everything I want but he doesn't always say yes because sometimes he just knows best.
However, it doesn't stop me from totally expecting to get what I ask for when I pray because I know if it is important to me then it is important to God. If its something I want it is something he wants for me. I realize that on some occasions he is going to say No and on those occasions I have to except it because he can see the bigger picture. If he had said yes to every boy that I begged to let be "The One" then I would have missed out on 2 of the most wonderful and biggest blessings in my life (Cason and Parker). Sometimes he just knows what is best. He wont let me play in the street because he can see the car coming. He says no because he loves me and most of the time he has something better in store for me. Even if I like my 2 year old cant understand why a God who says yes SO MUCH of the time just told me no I can at least understand a parent who only does what is best for his kids.
Sorry I totally just preached but when you speak as confidently about expecting to get what you pray for as I do you don't want people to think just because God said no to me having this baby this weekend that I feel my prayer wasn't answered. He just said no to the "this weekend" part and yes to the "healthy and safe" part. ;)